閱讀..堪布 澤仁扎西

From A Monk to A Lay Practitioner: My Change and Persistence

 ~~Tsering  tashi              2017/11/03

Preface

Khenpo (Can I still call you Khenpo? Or shall I call you differently?), when I heard the news that you had resumed secular life, I felt more pity than astonishment. I couldn't fall asleep. However I know every individual has got his independent thoughts, and he is the owner of his life and he is responsible for his own choices. I hadn't planned to ask about the details of the whole story. Although I am a beginner student of Tibetan Buddhism, I know that I can’t make any comments on any Buddhism teachers or monks, because I have learned that “all forms are unreal”.

However, since you hope that I assist you to finish this article by asking questions, I will try to do it, as I know that obedience is more productive than politeness. I will ask the following questions as a representative of normal readers, or of your students, or maybe of paparazzi.

Q1：So, specifically, why did you resume secular life?

A: Thanks for your interview. Through answering your questions, I will tell my friends about some issues of their concerns. As people have very different perspectives in understanding and interpreting the happenings, I won't expect that my answers will satisfy every reader.

My karma and desire forced me to resume secular life. I couldn’t keep my promise of being an ordained Sangha throughout this life. To be specific, I haven’t passed the test of sexual desire. 

Some people wonder the difference between breaking and putting down the Buddhism precepts. Actually these two concepts are different in details. Putting down the precepts is a very crucial way to prevent a person from breaking his precepts.

Some people think that one should express his decision of laying down precept in front of certain religious symbols such as a stupa or a Buddhist statue. Some others think that it should be done in front of the same person who presided the ordination ceremony. Both are not correct. Instead, the ceremony of putting the vows should be done in front of anybody with proper comprehension, who understands what you said. In other words, it can't be an animal, nor any non-human.

According to Vinayapitaka, the way in which one stops his monkhood is to clearly express his thoughts that are not in line with the precepts and the decision to put down the precepts. This is the whole process.

Regardless of the listener's gender and belief, the only thing matters is that the listener is cognitively conscious and who has full capacity of comprehension. There are many misunderstandings with this issue.

My Guru Jetsun Chouying Chabdhal once gave an example that happened during the Cultural Revolution. Some monks couldn’t keep their vows, and they put down their precepts in front of a Buddha statue and cats and pigs. These are very improper.

It is highly appreciated that nowadays lay practitioners are concerned much about the details of Buddhist disciplines, which indicates the true existence of Dharma Vinaya. Meanwhile, it might be more appropriate to leave the comment about Vinaya to the ordained group. If lay people are not highly qualified, making comments about it might be risky. As it reads in "The Thirty-seven Practices of All the Bodhisattvas", 

"The practice of all the bodhisattvas is never to speak ill

Of others who have embarked upon the greater vehicle,

For if, under the influence of destructive emotions,

I speak of other bodhisattvas’ failings, it is I who am at fault."

Q2：Since you are not a monk any more, does it mean those people who admired you in the past can go after you, tell you they love you, or have coffee together with you, go out with you, or date with you?

After this thunder-stormy event, I am now in a strange situation. I have learned some very precious lessons that can’t be learned from textbooks. Now I am experiencing the Tibetan saying “a lazy girl who lived with her parents had long wished to marry, while once she got married she wants to be back to her maiden life again.”

People are guessing who lives together with me, or if I am on my honey moon. My real life is that I spend much time reading and meditating as well as planning to start my retreat shortly. Is that unexpected?

I am now a lay practitioner. Precepts don't exist. However, I’ve become more cautious about love and affection.

A Tibetan joke says, “A monk had thought many girls loved him. However, after he resumed secular life, he found no girls loved him. He asked himself, "Why there's no girl any longer when I am not a monk anymore?"

Similarly, as I am not a monk any more, maybe no one admires me any longer. Who knows?

In other words, I have upgraded my very vague comprehension on concepts of like, love, desire, and the highly sophisticated interchanges among them. So I might become more mature if there are people still interested in me.

Q3：Have you reported the situation to your Gurus? What did they say? What did your Vajra brothers say to the event?

I sent a short message to Dzongsar Rinpoche in the afternoon after I posted the announcement on Facebook in the morning. Rinpoche replied by audio message the next morning to encourage me. He made 3 points.

Firstly, Rinpoche said, “You should continue with your Dharma practice and Dharma teachings as usual. You can definitely accomplish it. In this Dharma ending age, nothing is more important than prospering the Dharma through Dharma teachings, so you must go on with it.”

Secondly, Rinpoche commented, “By telling what had happened to you, you illustrated to the world the border line between an ordained Sangha and a lay person, which is good.” Rinpoche thinks that our conventions pose very strict disciplines on monks, as a consequence, they try to conceal the truth, and they dare not to face up to the facts. This becomes a factor to disgrace the image of Buddhism.

Thirdly, Rinpoche warned me that, “This world likes rumors, and there must be all kinds of comments and gossip going around. Don't get defeated by them. Instead, keep your Dharma practice and your commitments to bodhisattvas with more confidence and conviction.”

Rinpoche encouraged me with the above three instructions.

Rinpoche's trust towards me goes much beyond my imagination, which makes me very humbled. However, a Guru is a Guru, to whom a student who committed wrong doings could confess. For a student like me, not only was my confession accepted, but also I was supported by encouragement. There is nothing to be worried about any more.

At the end of September, Yeshi Lama in Taiwan told H.H. Garchen Rinpoche, who was in Taiwan to give some Dharma teachings (Garchen Rinpoche is also my Guru). He told Rinpoche that, “Khenpo Tsering Tashi has resumed secular life”. He roughly went through my announcement with him. The next day, when Yeshi Lama was about to leave, Garchen Rinpoche caught him and asked, "Where is Khenpo Tsering Tashi? What does he do?” Yeshi Lama answered he only knew I was in Australia, nothing else. Rinpoche further asked, "Has he quit from Tibetan Buddhism Research Association? Tell him, don't quit. This is a very important association. He should continue to do anything that he can.”

Yeshi Lama passed on to me the following words of Garchen Rinpoche, "Both Avalokiteshvara and Manjushuri are lay bodhisattvas. Don't be too sad or discouraged by the current situation. Make great aspirations. Treat all happenings with bodhicitta. Tashi, continue your Dharma spreading and teachings and always remember you are a Mahayana Sangha.”

Garchen Rinpoche asked Yeshi Lama to post this instruction in a Wechat group that consists of many Tibetan Buddhism teachers. My colleagues in Tibetan Buddhism Research Association also encouraged me with their comments.

On the second day, I wrote an email of thanks and asked Yeshi Lama to read it to Rinpoche. I may translate this email to you one day in the future.

In Telkar monastery, the place where I started my ordained life, everybody including the Abbot and Rinpoches told me, "Although you are no longer a monk, you shouldn't behave like those who stopped Dharma practice or Dharma spreading once they resumed secular life. Instead, you should go on with your Dharma missionary work as a Yogi” (Yogis have similar functions to ordained Sangha in Nyingma tradition). After the discussion among many Khenpos and Rinpoches in a Wechat group, they passed their reqsuest and suggestions to me.

Many of them wrote articles and poems to express their views on the event and their expectations of me. A Rinpoche living in Europe composed 32 verses to persuade me and encourage me to continue my spreading of Buddha Dharma, and to go on with my Dharma practice without stopping. Repeating their trust and expectation makes me really compunctious. 

A Khenpo of Arig Shedra Buddhism Academy, who used to be my student when I was teaching there a decade ago, wrote a very long article to recall our simple ascetic life and all his memories of my teachingsin those days. He concluded by commenting, "Whatever choice you make, whatever identity you hold, I will respect you as always, and you are my teacher forever."

Neither any of my Gurus, nor my Vajra brothers made any negative commentsabout me. Instead, they are compassionate and encouraging. Of course, there is pity or regret, but no abuse or criticism. All the worries and concerns that I will be reborn in hells or whether I had broken my precept are almost from lay people.

This may reflect different perspectives people hold and interpretations people have on Dharma practice. I had expected much blame or excoriating or criticizing from my Gurus and my Vajra brothers. However, their trust makes me feel more ashamed.

Q4：You used to say "Boddhisattvas love me". However bodhisattvas seem to treat you very strictly this time. Do you still believe you are loved by bodhisattvas? Is this your karma? How do you remedy it if it is bad karma?

I still believe that. Many circumstances that seem to be obstructive are not necessarily negative. We are not strong enough to make use of them, so they seem to appear to be negative. This is what “transfer it into path" in Mahayana teaching means.

Similarly, this happening could be the bodhisattvas' blessings for me as well as my bad karma. A Kadampa practitioner said, "others' negative comments about you should be regarded as bodhisattva's gift to you. Losing worldly fortune should be perceived as bodhisattvas' blessings.

People regard their reputations as the biggest issue. They spend a lot of money and energy to won good fame and they would even die to protect their fame. So the damage done to your worldly reputation and the negative comment on your fame are good for your Dharma practice.

As it reads in "The Thirty-seven Practices of All the bodhisattvas" that,

"Even if others should expose my hidden faults or deride me,

When speaking amidst great gatherings of many people,

To conceive of them as spiritual friends and to bow

Before them in respect—this is the practice of all the bodhisattvas."

Through this event, bodhisattvas made me aware of the facts that it is human nature to get clung to non-existing reputation, that what we had thought can't be given up can actually be put down, and that anything we regard as important is actually of no importance.

“Bodhicaryavatara” specially emphasizes the tolerance of sufferings. All achievements we get from Dharma practice are made through the experience of Samsara, which means the experience of suffering. So this event is Buddha’s and bodhisattvas’ blessings for me.

When we practice Guru Yoga, whatever negative happens, such as having a disease or coming across any obstacles, we consider all those as Guru's blessings, for which we should be grateful.

As to how to decrease bad karma, I think admitting one's fault is the first step of confession.

Confession can purify one's bad karma regardless whether one put down his precepts or one committed bad deeds. Buddhism teachers used to say that "Bad karma doesn't have merits. It can be purified through confession, which is good."

I’m faithfully confessing putting down my promise of holding life-long precepts. Meanwhile, I rejoice the merit accumulated out of my nearly 30 years’ monkhood. Since a short experience of being an ordained Sangha can produce immense virtues, why can't we be proud of our merits we’ve already accumulated? Buddha said, in terms of holding precepts, the virtues one produces during a short period of the Dharma-ending age surpass those one produced throughout his life in Buddha's age.

Recently, I have read a lot of biographies of my linage Gurus. I’ve read, meditated and reviewed my life. I am thinking about what it is that I am really looking for. Sometimes, fame and successes lead you away from your destination.

Now I took off all my make-up and mask, which may bring me closer to my true nature.

After experiencing Samsara and impermanence, as well as the worldly life, I further meditate that all phenomenon are impermanent and unreal. This state of mine is actually closer to a true practitioner, which is a great comfort to me. I am not looking for an excuse for me; rather, I am looking for a survival. 

According to Hinayana tradition, one's breaking of precept means the die is cast. However, his confession can help him to remove the bad karma. The one who put down the precepts can be ordained again.

According to Shravakayana, breaking of precept is like breaking a ceramic ware that you can never fix it. While Mahayana and Vajranaya traditions’ interpretations are that for the one who generated bodhicitta and has got initiations, the lost of precepts is just like the damage on gold-ware or silver-ware, which could be fixed to be perfected, as long as you have the techniques and methods. This is the difference between Hinayana and Mahayana in terms of bodhicitta and strategic method.

Currently I don't have the plan to be ordained again.

I focused on these trivial matters because I realized an increased interest and attention of many lay people in this topic. I hope this detailed account may be of help to those who need it.

Q5：What is your biggest concern after the announcement? What will your mum feel? 

Being a monk in a Buddhist world, especially in eastern countries, has an irreplaceable reputation without which one is hardly accepted as a spiritual teacher, regardless how scholarly you are or how well you teach.

In my reply to Garchen Rinpoche I thanked my Guru for trusting me and treating me with his incomparable compassion and tolerance. However, in this pragmatic world, a lay practitioner will come across many more challenges in promoting and spreading the Buddha Dharma than a Sangha.

It is a challenge to me and to my Dharma students as well.

If a person who used to blindly trust me and treat me as his/her idol, while he/she easily gives up when challenges appear, this Dharma spreading in fact worries me, although it ever looked warm and nice.

I am worried about my refuge students and Yeshikhorlo people in Australia, Taiwan, Malaysia and Singapore. This event is a blow to them. When their spiritual leader returned to laity, they heard more about people's comments and doubts than I did, which can be burdensome for them. As the representative of Yeshikhorlo and the spiritual teacher, I am responsible for the situation.

I don't want to leave them alone. However currently I can do nothing but to encourage them not to give up their Dharma learning and practicing and we leave all others to our future destiny. I accept any regret or disappointment towards me personally.

I am not sure if I am the right person to tell you this, that if you are not in a teacher & student relationship, you have the right to observe a spiritual teacher; however if you are in this relationship, you should be aware that you are part of the relation and you have your duties and role, which means to keep pure perception towards your spiritual teacher and to control your emotions and to decrease your reliance on sense organs, as these are your practices.

We are all normal people. When we really can't accept our spiritual teachers' behavior or decision, we should at least stay quiet and still, rather than making comments.

When we stick to the idea that our spiritual teacher should be perfect, we lose the chance to practice our pure perception. Furthermore, this expectation is impractical. Just like when the water in the pond keeps flowing, how can the moon's shadow stay still? I myself also heard lots of negative comments and even slander about my Gurus, but I was well prepared to react to them properly.

As to my mum, since what happened has already happened, it is useless to worry. I do hope to show her that her son is never away from Dharma practicing. I think this is the only way to comfort my mum. She is my biggest concern.

Q6：In the past, as an ordained Sangha, and a spiritual leader, your special status brought you some worldly advantages, eg. you didn't have to wait for a ticket to Buddhism teachings, and you sat in VIP seats. You may not enjoy these VIP arrangements, and even you may not receive offerings any more, how do you deal with these "loses"?

I used to be a monk, wearing my robe, which are like golden name cards. Now as I ceased my monkhood, some people think my changing of status doesn't change the fact that I am a spiritual teacher or Guru neither the fact I am a Buddhist practitioner; while others think secularization means that I am nothing different from a normal person, even that I am a guilty person. Different comprehensions exist.

In Tibet, people have different choices of life after they resume secular life. Some choose totally different life paths, in which nothing of the Dharma practice could be observed anymore; others keep their Dharma practice and meditation, and even accomplished distinguished achievements.

Once when I visited Switzerland, I found many excellent Geshes and Lamas resumed secular life. What worried me was not their secularization, but their stopping using their precious Dharma resources to benefit themselves and others. They are proficient in Tibetan, they know Five Buddhism Sastras, they know how to conduct Buddhism debate and they grasp the technique of meditation. All these are subjects that amaze the Western world. Sharing these resources can not only spread the Buddha Dharma and introduce Tibetan and Buddhist cultures to a bigger audience, but also provide the performer with a reasonable way of survival.

I think there are two reasons for which they didn't do so. One is the language barrier. The other is the missing support of the monastery for the secularized Sangha. The latter one might be a punishment the pious old-time Tibetan people have on the secularized ones.

A Vinayapitaka work in Tripitaka specially mentions that even if a Buddhism scholar resumes secular life and gets his family, he still functions as a wall to protect the authentic Dharma, he is still a Dharmapala. 

Very often, cultures and ways of thinking form pre-disposed channels; while truth, with the nature of being neutral, seems to have to fit into those channels. However, truth is just like water, it keeps in the middle, goes neither left nor right.

I know that Vinaya and Sangha are the best representatives of Buddha Dharma, who I extremely respect. People's strictness with precept-holding is really very good conduct. Nevertheless, we have to also think about the future survival of the Buddha Dharma and it is necessary to prepare for possibly bad situations. 

As H.H. Dalai Lama once said, it will be the lay practitioners who practice and keep the Dharma alive.

In answering why there are less and less ordained Sanghas, Khenpo Tsultrim Lodro said in 2015 in Taiwan that this was an unpreventable trend.

What about trying to give somebody like me, one who didn't firmly keep his precepts, some opportunities to continue with Dharma spreading, and see if it works?

I met some Yeshikhorlo people weeks ago and told them that when I return from my retreat, I will be a lay practitioner, and I won’t have any Sangha treatments.

I had received offerings in the past though, frankly, I am not attached to them, which I am fully confident with.

From my nomadic childhood to my later life in monasteries, and then to India and finally to many different corners in the world, I never have had a budget plan. This is not because I am rich, but because I never worry about money. As for my future life, I can find a job and support my living in very simple way.

In the future, if I could still do the Dharma spreading without receiving the offerings, and people won't expect too much from me because of my title or the robes, we will both feel much less pressure, which I consider to be a good thing.

I've expressed my view on offerings. Dzongsar Rinpoche also talked about it in an interview done by a Tibetan media. He said that the way offerings given and accepted in mainland China may gradually become problematic. He suggested that the public may make contributions through donations for some specific purposes. In this way, offerings or donations aren't going to any individuals. It is open and transparent, and it won't cause any doubt. I personally think this reform would be a step forward, rather than a disadvantage. 

In the last month, I stayed indoors, chanting, meditating and reading, with my persistence and firm conviction to Buddha Dharma. Sometimes I see myself in dreams, still wearing my red Lama robes. Sometimes I am struggling, eg. when my hair goes mad and I want to shave it because I am not used to it. These are the challenges of my habit, but neither hair style nor clothes matters.

Q7：What are the main reactions of your Dharma students regarding your secularization？And, it is said there are also discussions about you in Tibet. What do you think about those comments and discussions?

I have stopped my interactions on the internet so I can't receive any concern people sent to me. But this event is a blow to Yeshikhorlo students. Some of them said that since what they have been looking for is Buddha Dharma, and what the spiritual teacher had been giving them have been the authentic Dharma teachings. So whatever happens they would continue following me.

I warned them, you would have to face a lot of comments and pressures from other people; in addition, I am not an ordained Sangha anymore, so I may appear wearing jeans or a tie. My Dharma teaching may not be accepted as it used to be. Could you stand up to all those changes? You may think about looking for another spiritual teacher. All these, I told those who want to go on following me.

I have been keeping an open mind toward my students' looking for other teachers or attending other teachers' lectures. 

I told my students, you can either complain or leave me, and that's alright; but since our past links are not fake, and even if this teacher-student relationship has finished, we should still keep the gratitude.

A Taiwanese couple told me, "You are not a monk anymore, so we’ll take you out for entertainment next time you come to Taiwan ". On the one hand they wanted to encourage me; on the other hand, they have been long time Dharma practitioner, so they accept the issue and they see no difference whether I am a monk or not. There is this kind of people.

There are also people who feel pity, however as they are thankful to the knowledge they acquired from my Dharma teachings, they respect my decision.

There is still a group of people who can't accept it at all. They think once a monk takes off his robe and becomes a normal person, those who stay following him will be reborn in hells. So they rang and patiently persuaded my students that they should not go on following me to learn the Dharma. There are people who endeavored to do so and they are people I am quite familiar with and people who used to come to my Dharma teachings.

Q8：Back to normal life, what do you lose? Or is there anything you are not allowed to do anymore? Eg. are there any ritual ceremonies that you could do in the past as a Guru and Kehnpo, but you can't do any more as a secularized person.

Back to worldly life, I lost all treatments as an ordained Sangha. Being an ordained Sangha is of significant virtue: the special image and the symbol alone already mean great blessings. Having lost this symbol is a fact.

About the things I’m not allowed to do, the first comes that I can't preside over the ordination ceremony any longer (but I can do the refuge ceremony). This is clearly recognized in Tibetan Buddhism. Last year, H.H. Sakya Trizin (he is not an ordained Sangha) performed the Enthronement ceremony of his daughter. Some Chinese students said "she is ordained". Then H.H. Sakya Trizin’s office officially clarified that H.H., as a lay practitioner, can't preside the ordination ceremony; and what he performed was a refuge ceremony.

Other things are such as Uposatha, which is a Dharma assembly, and Vassa, a summer retreat, in which lay practitioners are not allowed to participate, nor to preside.

In the Monlam Dictionary, the word Khenpo has the following definitions,

1. Ordained Khenpo, which can't be entitled to any lay practitioners,

2. Abbot Khenpo in Gelugpa monasteries, who must be ordained Sangha,

3. Commentators, founders and experts,

4. In Nyingma, Kagyu and Sakya Buddhism academies, Khenpo is the title conferred to the students with the highest academic performance. So it is an indicator of the academic achievements.

Q9：Have you got any practical plan for your future? Do you need a job? Or will you run a business? Will you continue your Dharma mission to do the Buddhism teaching and activities in a certain way?

I have thought about these questions. 

Garchen Rinpoche and Dzongsar Rinpoche both specially suggested me to continue to do the Dharma teachings. This is the mission granted by my Gurus. In my current situation, my Gurus still trust me without any change. I believe my Gurus aspirations will become my ultimate strength.

However, I know that I need to refill and upgrade myself, so I think going to retreat is good. I’ve decided to do a formal retreat for at least one year. My retreat will be done in a way to cut myself off from any familiar persons, or circumstances, or surroundings, so that I could look for the most primitive and simplest strength. Of course it must be somewhere in Australia.

I am a Tibetan plateau creature, so I have very strong survival skills. There is no need to worry about me.

"You didn't do your retreat when you should have done it as a Khenpo; you shouldn't do it now since you are already a worldly person. You should enjoy your worldly life." I believe there is this thinking. It doesn't matter. Because thinking too much about people's comment will prevent me from starting my new journey.

So I will do my retreat.

As to my way of living, I believe that the knowledge of Tibetan culture and Buddhism I have acquired so far are precious treasures. They could guarantee me a survival.

In a way that my cultural and Dharma work is not influenced, I may also enroll in some cooking courses and see if I may make some Tsamba biscuits or Tibetan boiled dough slice or Tibetan steamed dumplings. These are just my hobbies and the alternative ways I figured out currently for my future survival.

Being self-reliant is good. A student shared a news story to me, which is about a monk taxi driver with 20 years experience. The photo on his driving license is still his Sangha’s image. Does my student imply for me to apply for a taxi driver license?

H.H. Drikung Kyabgon Chetsang recently talked in a special teaching, "the time that ordained Sangha receive offerings will end soon, so they will have to support themselves in the future."

Surely, Dharma offerings couldn’t be appreciated from the socialist perspective. Making offerings could be interpreted in two ways: one being a way of merit accumulation, which is in nature with Dharma practice; the other being a contribution to the spiritual support people get from Dharma teachers, which is a two-way benefit.

I fully agree on the tradition of offering the ordained Sanghas and supporting their life so that they could live still life in order to take their spiritual roles. However, as time changes, so do people's thoughts, adjustments of traditions are needed.

Q10：Have you got a plan to have a family?

Since I am back to normal life, it seems to be normal to have a family. It is our tradition.

However, I personally do not have any clear ideas whether to marry or not. There is no definite idea, but maybe I won't marry.

I can say with certainty that I will accomplish my retreat first before I plan any other issues. It is too early to think about marriage.

Q11：What should we call you? Can we still call you Khenpo? What will you wear?

The form of address is not a problem.

People used to call me Khenpo; and almost all my Tibetan friends still call me Khenpo; a Rinpoche living in Switzerland writes a very long article in which he tells me, "You will still be Khenpo in the future". He further takes the example of Nyoshul Khen Rinpoche (he is Dzongsar Rinpoche's Guru, a Khenpo and a Yogi, who has entered Parinirvana). His point is to encourage me.

The key point is that they feel regrets if I would give up the achievements I've made because of my secularization. They hope I won’t stop any of my study, or teaching, or practice. There are Lharampas who keep or give up their titles when they resume secular life. Khenpo, as it is my academic title, should be reserved.

However I told people that if you are really my students, from the Dharma perspective, anybody who's willing to be my disciple can call me "Guru" or "Teacher", as Khenpo may arouse misunderstandings in some occasions. Some think that Khenpo is the title indicating ones Dharma study and practice, others think Khenpo is a name entitled to ordained Sangha. This difference in interpretation is more or less related to different systems. "Guru" is a respectable address. My disciples could call me Guru. While people who just come to my lectures or do some academic or Dharma communications simply call me "Teacher", which is the most appropriate and simplest.

I don't think I should rely on any title, and now I am not anymore at the stage of judging my accomplishments by a title. So what you call me won't be a problem. Call me whatever you like. The simplest is Teacher Tsering Tashi.

In regards to my way of dressing, I will wear casual clothes normally or when I am on informal occasions; and I will dress the robes worn by Tibetan Yogis or traditional cotton clothes, but not the Dharma skirt for Lamas any longer.

Q12：I asked you in May 2014 how do you define "success" from the perspective of a guru or an ordained Sangha, do you remember that?

I have talked about the definition of success from the perspective of an ordained Sangha, as well as the definition from a lay person's point of view. With the premise of persisting as a Dharma practitioner, for the purpose of self benefit, if you could moderate your mind and make achievements through your Dharma practice, without worrying much about others’ comments, you are successful. In the aspect of altruism, if your learning, reflecting and meditating is benefiting sentient beings and if you contribute in flourishing and spreading the Buddha Dharma, you are successful.

Worldly success equals to making a fortune, so living an enviable life could make people feel successful. However, the definition of success is really complex. Basically, achieving the balance between inner happiness and a matching physical life could be regarded as the biggest worldly success. Nowadays, some people are living in extreme poverty, while others look successful and happy, but if they do not feel happy, they are losers in fact.

Q13：Finally, what do you want to tell your disciples and students and Yeshikhorlo staff and friends in Taiwan, Malaysia, Singapore and Australia?

Some complained why they were kept blind while the news of my secularization was spread everywhere. They thought I didn't clarify it. They doubted it and they didn’t feel respected. I understand people's feelings. The fact is that I posted the announcement of my secularization on Facebook on the morning of Sept. 7, 2017 (in both Chinese and Tibetan) as my explanation to my students and friends, and it is the only announcement I have made so far. Any other information is not from my end.

The post was read by thousands of my Facebook followers. Those who didn't regularly use Facebook got the news a little bit later. In Tibet, people forwarded the screenshot of my Facebook post to spread the news.

I have been long away from Taiwan, and I haven't yet made my trip to Malaysia nor Singapore. There is a very good environment to learn the Buddha Dharma in Taiwan, so with the intention of learning the Dharma, you have many opportunities to meet Dharma teachers. You don't have to worry.

Although Yeshikhorlo Taiwan is a small organization, it still needs care and dedication. Thanks for your persistence. My thanks also go to Shiwa who takes care of Yeshikhorlo Taiwan.

In Malaysia, the continuous group practice and learning have been undertaken very well.

I believe one day I will come to Taiwan and Malaysia to visit.

For my students in Yeshikhorlo Australia, especially those who just started learning the Dharma from me and who just come to know the Dharma, this change could be unbearable. I really worry about them, and I will feel really sad if they reverse or quit from their Dharma learning.

No matter what happens, please do continue with your learning. Although I am away, the learning of preliminary practices could be kept going. Maybe one day when you finish the preliminary practices, we report to my Gurus to request for Dzogchen. One can't live without dreams, especially the dream of Dharma practice. Failure is not the end, just like secularization is not the full stop for a true Dharma practitioner.

All in one, I hope that you could go on with your Dharma learning. If you encounter a good accessible teacher, you could go to the teachings; if you find a good guru, I'll support you from the bottom of my heart.

Through reading the books of H.H. Dalai Lama, Dzongsar Rinpoche, Khenpo Tsultrim Lodro, Khenpo Sodargye, and H.H. Garchen Rinpoche, I believe I will get special blessings and power. They didn't give me up, so they won't leave you alone. They are our gurus.

I used to teach some Dharma theories, sitting in a throne, and shared some Tibetan practitioners' stories with you. Whenever I realized that my explanations and answers helped you and I read satisfaction and comprehension in your faces I was so pleased, and all my pleasures and smiles at those moments were true from my heart, please do believe that.

Even if you won’t come to my Dharma teachings, at least we could have coffee or hot pot together in the future.

Postscript

Thank you for honestly answering all these questions. You answer them as if you cut yourself into pieces with a sharp knife to show your flesh and bones to the public so that all curiosity could be fed, and all concerns of your friends could be responded, and all your students who respect you and love you could be comforted. 

I will never forget that you refused to eat any meat in prison even if you were only given plain steamed bread otherwise and it is after knowing the story that I decided to become a vegetarian. I will forever remember it is from you that I come to know Lahrong Buddhism Academy, and great teachers such as Khenpo Tsultrim Lodro and Khenpo Sodargye. I will always keep in mind it is you that told me many extraordinary stories of those mahasiddhas. It is you who planted Dharma seedlings in my mind.

It is like a drama or a lesson reminding us that the existence of impermanence is permanent.

Thank you, for manifesting the Buddha Dharma with your life story.